Well not only IVF but has the struggle to have a baby of our own (after multiple ectopic pregnancies and a couple of failed /cancelled IVF cycles) turned me into an obsessive mom?
My sister-in-law visited us last weekend and we (my husband, she and I) had one of those late night conversations. She rightly pointed out how she was hurt and probably even offended when she came home to see Baby B when Baby B was 5days old. I was in a separate room when it happened but apparently she was too eager to take Baby B from DH and DH was t ready to hand over Baby B to her. They had some sort of blowout where both were hurt and ended up saying hurtful things to each other. I won’t go I to the details here.
Mind you, this is a almost 6-month old story and many still hold a grudge or our (DH and my) behaviours back then have been engrained on them …including my in-laws and maybe even my parents though I will leave them out here as our slate is clean.
She (for the most part rightly) pointed out that she cannot fathom to understand how long we (DH and I) have waited for this “precious” baby given our history. She doesn’t know how it feels but understood the “whys” behind our feelings. The biggest thing according to her DH and I forgot (or missed or did not consider) according to her is how long she’s waited to be an aunt, how long my in-laws have waited to be grandparents. I quietly listened and took her point onboard for the most part. DH and are the youngest in the family and more listeners than talkers.
While I understand and get her point, I would like to stress that NO ONE in our family (DHs or mine) know what it feels like to go through what “I” went and then what “we” went through and I’m sorry to say this out loud but that very statement alone gives me and DH the freedom to behave how we want when it comes to our baby. We’re not being nasty and neither have we run away with the baby or anything. First time parents are anxious, apprentice, hormonal…you name it and just multiply that maybe by a 1000!
This combination of being first time parents after our history makes us super duper protective about the little one (leave alone her jaundice, weight issues etc etc). My general nature would have been to be protective about my baby and these last few years have made me even more protective about her. So yes, what SIL said is taken on board. Maybe I am a tad bit obsessive or over-protective, maybe I’m not having a life of my own or taking my mind off anything but Baby B. Ultimately, that is my choice and unfortunately no one knows or will ever know where such feelings are coming from. Anything they think or feel is ONLY and ONLY a guesstimate.