Tag Archives: baby jaundice

Mom after IVF = Obsessive Mom? (a post written 9m back)

Well not only IVF but has the struggle to have a baby of our own (after multiple ectopic pregnancies and a couple of failed /cancelled IVF cycles) turned me into an obsessive mom?

Let’s see.

My sister-in-law visited us last weekend and we (my husband, she and I) had one of those late night conversations. She rightly pointed out how she was hurt and probably even offended when she came home to see Baby B when Baby B was 5days old. I was in a separate room when it happened but apparently she was too eager to take Baby B from DH and DH was t ready to hand over Baby B to her. They had some sort of blowout where both were hurt and ended up saying hurtful things to each other. I won’t go I to the details here.

Mind you, this is a almost 6-month old story and many still hold a grudge or our (DH and my) behaviours back then have been engrained on them …including my in-laws and maybe even my parents though I will leave them out here as our slate is clean.

She (for the most part rightly) pointed out that she cannot fathom to understand how long we (DH and I) have waited for this “precious” baby given our history. She doesn’t know how it feels but understood the “whys” behind our feelings. The biggest thing according to her DH and I forgot (or missed or did not consider) according to her is how long she’s waited to be an aunt, how long my in-laws have waited to be grandparents. I quietly listened and took her point onboard for the most part. DH and are the youngest in the family and more listeners than talkers.

While I understand and get her point, I would like to stress that NO ONE in our family (DHs or mine) know what it feels like to go through what “I” went and then what “we” went through and I’m sorry to say this out loud but that very statement alone gives me and DH the freedom to behave how we want when it comes to our baby. We’re not being nasty and neither have we run away with the baby or anything. First time parents are anxious, apprentice, hormonal…you name it and just multiply that maybe by a 1000!

This combination of being first time parents after our history makes us super duper protective about the little one (leave alone her jaundice, weight issues etc etc). My general nature would have been to be protective about my baby and these last few years have made me even more protective about her. So yes, what SIL said is taken on board. Maybe I am a tad bit obsessive or over-protective, maybe I’m not having a life of my own or taking my mind off anything but Baby B. Ultimately, that is my choice and unfortunately no one knows or will ever know where such feelings are coming from. Anything they think or feel is ONLY and ONLY a guesstimate.

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It’s a girl!

Our miracle baby girl arrived at 10:52am on 14-01-14 weighing 3.1kg and measuring 19.3inches in length. We are counting our blessings. She is daddy’s little girl in looks and temperament and both, DH and I, cannot get enough of her.

The three of us are coping well and are now at home at my mum and dad’s place. The first night wasn’t half as bad as what I’d heard. Our little one is a complete darling and follows a nice feed-sleep-pee routine. She has minor jaundice (common amongst new borns apparently). Despite that she hasn’t been fussy. As for me, I have something called “spinal headache” a rare side effect of taking spinal anaesthesia for the elective c-section. Without getting into too many details basically I get a headache like no other when sitting up or standing though I am “ok” so long as I am horizontal or in a lying down position. It’s a situation that should take anywhere between 4-14 days to recover from. Until then, I’ve been told to lay down and rest.

It’s a bit of a downer for me- I’ve been waiting to be a hands on mom, take care of our little one, and just enjoy every moment as a family. However, I lay down for most of the day, get up to breastfeed and maybe go to the loo! On the bright side, I’m seeing this amazing side of DH. He is super Dad overnight taking care of our little one’s every need and requirement…from nappy changes, sponge baths, waking up to her cry through the night and the day and even feeding now! (I started expressing).

I have no words to describe how amazing he’s been with her and (fussy /hormonal) me. I know I’ve used the word “amazing” several times already but I am just so much in awe of him. Makes me fall in love with him all over again. How did I get so lucky ?!? I wonder at times 😊

We can’t get enough of our little baby girl. At times I still find it hard to believe that she’s all ours. We finally made a happy and healthy baby and she’s ours to keep. Feel blessed!

PS: Thank you all for your love and support.