Monthly Archives: February 2013

Early AF again? Not sure what’s going on…

I started spotting late last evening. It was only day 16 of my menstrual cycle and now I’m wondering if my cycles are just getting shorter to c. 20 days instead of the usual 26-27 days and maybe last month was not a one-off. I honestly don’t know what to think.

The good thing is I am heading to the Dr. N tomorrow morning to collect my antagonist injections. Hopefully he will be able to give me a better idea of what’s going on and will also get a better idea about how they are likely to proceed with the treatment as I am clearly not falling the average 28 day cycle and don’t know how far the long protocol is altered (if at all) to accommodate that.

The whole waiting game since early Jan 2013 has made me more anxious than normal. I really want to kickstart our cycle so that we’re heading somewhere in the baby making process.


Worried about a short menstrual cycle before IVF

After cancelling our first IVF cycle in early February 2013, I thought we’d have to wait a whole long month before we start on the long protocol – which was to begin on the 20th day of my menstrual cycle (MC) – which is fairly regular and comes in around 26-27 days each month.

This month, however, it arrived on day 20! I was in a full state of panic because:

1. I was not ready – you see since we’ve decided to go down the IVF route, we need to plan a lot in advance…from trips, to social commitments (we both have big families) and time off work for both DH and I

But then I said to myself, it is ok. I recalculated  the various dates on which DH and I had to be in town and it seemed to work out fine.

2. I did not know what caused it – Well, for many this might not really be important but for me the “whys” always pop in my head. Am I too stressed? Am I stressed about not being stressed? Did I eat something that prompted it? Or was it just the drugs from the cancelled cycle?

In reality, there is no way of determining why it happened hence no point pondering over it. It could one of the above or maybe a little bit of all of the above.

3. If MC arrived on the 20th day this month, what do I do next month when on the long IVF protocol, I start my suppressant/antagonist injections on day 20? Do I still begin on day 20 or a week before expected MC? Will my next cycle be the average 26-27 days or 20 days?

I raised my concerns with Dr.N and he said there is nothing to be worried about. There is no telling whether its stress or the drugs from the previous cancelled cycle (could be a bit of both). He assured me that we will move on as decided and to treat this short menstrual cycle as a one-off.

The reason the suppressant injections begin on day 20 of the long IVF cycle is to ensure that the patient has ovulated and released the egg. In my case now, to be on the safe side, he has suggested started suppressants on day 18 or day 19 of MC hopefully before the formation of a new follicle.

To share or not to share?

Over the last few years, since our first positive pregnancy test, my dear husband (DH) and I have had to decide and discuss whether we should share any pregnancy related news (good and bad) with our families.

My conclusion- share limited with family (sisters are always an exception to this rule; more on that later) and don’t underestimate the support you might get from your closest friends.

With our first pregnancy, we were very excited and almost immediately told both sets of parents and our siblings with an understanding that the news will be within the “core” family and as and when the time comes, we will start sharing the news with others. Little did we know that things would end up so differently.

When I was admitted to the hospital, we found out my mother-in-law (MIL) had already shared the news with her mom. This grandmom lived with her son (DH’s uncle) so now his family possibly knew and then there was no telling who knew what. Unfortunately, many of these family members don’t even know what happened (we both come from traditional Indian families where in general there is a lack of understanding in such matters) and it is unfortunate some of them just end up assuming what they want to assume. After months, a family member came up to me and said “Oh, I am so sorry about the miscarriage”. I was extremely hurt, not because I was asked that question, but because I didn’t know she knew…because the “core” family I so blindly trusted with this sort of news just couldn’t keep it with them.

Long story short- MIL was quite disturbed with all that was going on that she HAD to talk to her mom. I confronted her and I forgave her. But this taught us an important lesson- choose not to share such sensitive information with anyone unless you are prepared that it will pass on to others. Once you have shared something, that information is completely beyond your control.

Two of my three failed pregnancies happened while we lived out of the country, away from family and friends. I never thought about sharing anything with my best friends (I am fortunate I have not one but three!) I always thought that they were so far away, how would it matter, what would I tell them. At the end of it all, I would only get sympathy…right?

Wrong! A few months after my second failed pregnancy, one of my best friends turned to me when she was having a difficult time TTC. We chatted for while, shared our experiences and instead I ended up turning to her. She did not offer me sympathy nor did say “it was for the best or God’s will”, “you’re still young, there’s more time and you’ll have another baby”- she only held my hand and said she was sorry. She listened and reassured me that she was there for me. I love her for that. She is the best listener and least judgemental person I know.

Since then, this friend got pregnant and had a beautiful daughter. She is still part of my support system and I truly appreciate having a friend like her.